Seasons of Life

Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven." King Solomon, the person who recorded that was called the wisest man who ever lived. He affirmed that there is a time, a 'season' for everything in life, including a season to work and a season to refrain from working.

God has designed seasons in a woman's life and family. Employment is more appropriate in some seasons than others. There are typically four seasons to parenting. Each one has its own opportunities, challenges, demands and pleasures. Not surprisingly, the responsibilities change a bit as the seasons change, especially for the mother. As her children grow up, her priorities shift and employment outside the home becomes more appropriate or less appropriate, depending on the season.

Spring - Birth to Beginning of Formal Schooling

Summer - Primary School to College

Autumn - National Service, Poly/University to Working

Winter (The Empty Nest) - Children get married and leave home

Whatever the season that you are in and how old your children are, if you do consider working, try thinking of ways to make money at home (especially when your children are still young). When Caleb was younger, I tutored students under the CDAC Tuition Programme in a nearby school, at a tuition centre and at home. My hours were short, about one and a half to four hours a day (though not every day) and the income was quite lucrative considering that I was only working part-time.

The following are some ideas for home businesses:
(1)Day care for young children
(2)Teaching cooking, music or art (classes or one at a time)
(3)Word processing and desktop puplishing
(4)Editing newsletters, free-lance writing or technical writing for local businesses
(5)Handcrafted toys, dolls, bears, etc.
(6)Pottery, needlework, wreaths, ornaments, etc.
(7)Designing and producing jewelry, bows, headbands, T-shirts
(8)Custom sewing, alterations, etc.
(9)Beauty consultant (facial treatment and make-up)
(10)Food : catering, specialty cookies, wedding and birthday cakes
(11)Gift baskets (e.g. Tupperware)
(12)Gardening : fresh and dried herd products
(13)Bookkeeping and accounting
(14)Income tax preparation
(15)Designing or refinishing furniture
(16)Marketing : selling clothes or other products through sample sales or parties (e.g. network marketing)
(17)Free-lance graphic artist
(18)Telemarketing
(19)Insurance (except for appointments with clients and training)
(20)Real estate (except for appointments with clients and training)

If you have more to add on to my list, please write to me. : )

God's Beloved

To Work Or Not To Work?

Yesterday, my friend, Jessie, called me up to ask me about breastfeeding. She had just come back to Singapore to work after her two-month maternity leave. She had left her two months old newborn to her mother's care in Malaysia. She shared that during the first week of work here, she kept crying whenever she looked at her baby boy's photos. She missed her baby terribly and even toyed with the idea of resigning from work. However, the family's commitments (housing and car loans, especially) prevented her from making this bold step! This is what I call the "dual income syndrome" when a working mother is emotionally, physically and mentally torn between fulfilling her roles as a wife, mother and employee. And how do I spell working mom? G-U-I-L-T! Very often, a working mother feels guilty of not spending enough time with her husband and children, and of not keeping the house in order.

Many people say that it is quality time that counts. However, if a working mother has a full-time job, then it is really hard to have quality time with your children at the end of the day. And the daily grind of life outside and inside home often leaves the working mother completely exhausted!

I believe most mothers would agree with me that the developmental years of a child are the most crucial and he is better off when the mother stays home and does not work. However, too many young couples, especially, are trying to embrace the good life too quickly. They want it all, and they want it now. They marry and establish their standard of living based on two incomes. Many spread themselves extremely thin with mortgages, car payments and credit card debt. Then one day, when the first child comes along, and the wife's maternal instincts take over, she would like to quit work for a while, but she CANNOT - not without causing major stress on the finances and, ultimately, on the marriage. She feels trapped. It is no longer a question of whether she can work, but that she must work.

All of this may or may not mean that a wife should not work. Even if as a couple you decide the wife should work, it is advisable to avoid using her income for the basic support of the family, if at all possible. In other words, learn to live on the husband's income alone. I know that sounds drastic for our culture. But the alternative - dependence on two incomes - has equally drastic implications.

In his fascinating book His Needs, Her Needs, William Harley analyzed thousands of interviews with men and women about their needs in marriage. Regarding women who work outside home, he reported:

Whatever women say in public about their willingness to share the burden of making a living, in private I hear something entirely different. Married women tell me they resent working if their working is an absolute necessity. Even part-time work irritates them if their income has to help pay for basic living expenses.

I believe that most working mothers would choose to stay home and look after their children if money were not an issue. Do you agree?

"the older women ... teachers of good things - that they admonish the young women to love thier husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to thier own husbands, that the Word of God may not be blasphemed." Titus 2:3-5

God's Beloved

Positioned For 2008

On the night of 22 December (Saturday), I made a major decision, i.e. to go into the real estate business. To be accurate, I am actually already a property consultant with HSR since November 2005, but have been lying dormant ever since then.

Daniel has recently finished his real estate training at Dennis Wee Group in November and has been doing his property work since the beginning of December. As he has not resigned from teaching yet, I forsee that it will be rather taxing for him to do two jobs simultaneously when school reopens next Wednesday (2 January 2008). Since I do not work for others and I receive no income, I figured that I have nothing to lose if I were to embark on the business first.

After I had made that decision, I could not sleep and I sensed that Abba Father wanted to speak to me. I got up, took my Bible and went to the playroom and prayed (not played). I asked Him to give me a verse in the New Testament to cling on to for my new endeavour. Instead of one, my gracious Abba Father opened my eyes to many, many of His wonderful promises both in the Old and New Testaments. The following verses from His Word encouraged me tremendously and had given me the impetus to go ahead with the real estate business in 2008:

(1)"And you shall remember the Lord your God, for it is He who gives you power to get wealth, that He may establish His covenant which He swore to your fathers, as it is this day." Deuteronomy 8:18

(2)Deuteronomy 28:1-14 -> I personalised this chapter on blessings by changing all the 'you' to 'I/me' through a prayer.

(3)"Let them shout for joy and be glad, who favour my righteous cause; and let them say continually, "Let the Lord be magnified, who has pleasure in the prosperity of His servant," and my tongue shall speak of Your righteousness and of Your praise all the day long." Psalm 35:27-28 -> God is pleased and glorified when we prosper.

(4)"Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourslef also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass. He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday. Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him; do not fret because of him who prospers in his way, because of the man who brings wicked schemes to pass. Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; do not fret - it only causes harm." Psalm 37:3-8 -> This italicised and embolden portion was Abba's answer to a dream which I had a few days before 22 December. I dreamt that an agent from another real estate company had 'stolen' Daniel's client, who happened to have not signed the exclusive agreement to sell with Daniel yet. Daniel was speechless while I was fuming mad with that unscrupulous agent. Even though such dishonest agents do exist in the industry, I know that I can still rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him to vindicate me and accomplish what concerns me (Psalm 138:8a)!

(5)Colossians 3:16-17

(6)"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy - meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me (in my case, the person is Pastor Prince), these do, and the peace of God will be with you." Philippians 4:6-9 -> A few people, whom I shared with regarding Daniel's new endeavour, were not very in favour with his career switch. One person who initially objected rather violently to the switch was my mum, who accused me of instigating Daniel to leave his secured teaching job. She felt that I was not only breaking my husband's iron rice bowl (can it be broken?), but also breaking up the family (specifically happiness, Jia Ting Xing Fu).?

Now, you know how irrational my mum can be when she is mad. As a Christian, my family happiness is centred on Jesus, the solid Rock who does not roll, and nothing else! Today, if your family is happy and wealthy and enjoys every good thing in life, rejoice and give thanks. James 1:17 tells us that "every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning." However, do not even think that your wealth, your high-paying job, your smarts or anything else is the reason for your family happiness. That is putting your happiness on shaky grounds and to fall from God's grace (unearned, undeserved and unmerited favour).

With my Abba Father's assurance, I know I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me!

God's Beloved

Maid In Singapore (2)

My third maid, Joan, who was a Filipino, was a very intelligent and hardworking lady. When she was working in my household, I left the cooking entirely to her. I have always been very good in household chores, but never in cooking. So, my main requirement whenever I engaged a maid was that she MUST be good in cooking. What's the point of getting one who does not even know how to cook and I still have to think of what to feed her or spend money to buy food from outside!!

My mum had been a great help to me in the area of teaching Joan how to prepare Chinese herbal soups and dishes. Joan, who was a fast learner, also learnt how to prepare other Asian dishes from recipe books found at home. For someone like me, who dreads cooking, having Joan was really a God-sent blessing. On the other hand, I trained her in the chores. I remembered telling her very boldly on her first night with us that if she could meet my standard of cleanliness and follow my ways of keeping the house, she could survive anywhere else.!

Joan loved Caleb and Naomi very much and she would spend time playing with and reading to them in spite of the many chores she had to complete. The children still receive postcards or emails from her on their birthdays. Caleb still remembers the times spent with Auntie Joan, though he could vaguely remember her face.

Right now, Joan is working in Canada as a caregiver. As a caregiver, she does not have to do any household chores or cooking. She works only fifteen days a month and earns much more than when she was working in Singapore. I am glad that she has a better and more relaxing work life now and can send more money back home in the Philippines.

I personally feel that the maids in most Singaporean families lead a more rigid lifestyle whereby they have to adhere to a certain routine every day. They tend to be busier (as compared to those maids who work for 'angmohs') as employers will always certainly make sure that they have things to do all the time (and not skiving). It always puzzles me why some employers do not allow their maids to have a day off every week or, at least, every month even though their families do not have any infants or invalids who require their constant care and attention. For people like us who work (including our dear homemakers), we need to set aside time to rest and re-energise. Even for most working people who already have two days of rest every week, they still complain that it is insufficient. Then think about those maids who do not even have a day off.!

So, rest is important and necessary. Even the Creator of heaven and earth rested on the seventh day after six days of work, what more about us, God's wonderful creation! In our life journey, how well we walk is how well we rest (not just physical rest, but resting in the finished work of Jesus).

Give yourself and the maid a break! : )

God's Beloved

Maid In Sinagpore (1)

For the past five years, I had tried engaging foreign domestic helpers to help with the household chores (tasks which I usually term as unproductive) and cooking. My first two maids were Indonesians and the third one was a Filipino.

When Caleb was slightly more than a year old, I felt that I was economically more productive, and so, I decided to teach under the CDAC Tuition Programme for three hours every Saturday. Thus, I engaged my very first maid, Reni, who was an Indonesian. Her main duties were to keep the house spic and span and cook. Because she was a Christian, she had no problem at all handling pork and its derivatives. However, I did not keep her for long as I felt that there was great communication barrier and I was not prepared to invest time to learn another language. Nowadays, I observe that most Indonesian maids are able to speak better English and some can even speak Mandarin and a little dialect!

When I was expecting Naomi in 2005, I engaged my second Indonesian maid, who was also a Christian. I cannot remember her name now as her stay with us was very short-lived, about two weeks, and we had to send her back to the agency almost immediately when she contracted German measles. Initially, she had a fever, then followed by an outbreak of rashes all over her arms and neck the next day. I quickly brought her to a general practitioner and was advised by him to stay away from her as he suspected that she might be having German measles. I freaked out when I heard that and quickly grabbed hold of Caleb and stood far, far away from her while Daniel settled the medical bill at the counter. For the next two days, I stayed at my mother's home while Daniel handled the administrative matter at the maid agency. He also heeded the doctor's advice to sanitise the entire house with Lysol.!

On hindsight, I realised that I should not have reacted so fearfully and uncompassionately towards the maid's plight as all Singaporeans are immunised against German measles (small pox, chicken pox, tuberculosis, etc.) when they are born. When I visited my gynaecologist the following day, she also told me that if an expectant mother was already immunised against these diseases, then the foetus would, very positively, not contract any one of them.

Anyway, I was relieved that the second maid did not stay as the communication between us was worse than the first! Something like what the Chinese says, "A chick talking to a duck!" (Ji Tong Ya Jiang) In addition to that, she could not cook, not even making a decent 'sunny-side-up' (my favourite).!

In my third trimester in 2005, I was getting very busy with my home tuition and classes at the tuition centre. So, both Daniel and I decided to engage a Filipino maid to take over the chores and cooking. We chose a Filipino as we wanted the maid to be able to communicate well with Caleb, and vice versa. Moreover, the government levy for domestic helpers had decreased from $345 to $200 per month. So, with about the same amount of money that we could previously only engage an Indonesian maid, we could then engage a Filipino maid who could communicate better with every one in the family. Our Abba Father blessed us with a very faithful and competent maid, Joan.

I think it is every employer's (especially the madams) desire to have a maid who excels in chores and cooking (these are the very basics), have a loving heart towards every one (young and old) in the household and has good character. For those of you who are thinking of hiring a maid, you should always commit your future maid to our Abba Father and trust that He will grant you a maid who has all the good qualities that you ask of Him. I used to pray over a list of qualities/traits that I wanted my future husband to possess. And my Abba Father was faithful to grant me a husband, who has most of those traits on the list! : )

God's Beloved

Just For Laughs

I read this fun stuff in one of my church magazines and I found them funny, yet thought-provoking.

Church Signs???

(1) Are you searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!

(2) If you are headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns.

(3) Do not give up. Moses was once a basket case!

(4) Seven days without prayer makes one weak.

(5) It is unlikely that there will be a reduction in the wages of sin.

(6) If you do not like the way you were born, try being born again.

(7) This is a ch_ _ch. What is missing?

(8) If you cannot sleep, do not attempt to count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd.

(9) Are you in the dark? Follow the Son.

And our all-time favourite...

(10) Try Jesus. If you do not like Him, the devil will always take you back.

With its sham and drudgery, the world is still a beautiful one to live in, especially when we are surrounded by people who love us and those we love. Look out for the daily blessings, no matter how small or trivial they are, to rejoice over and be thankful for.

"A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken." Proverbs 15:13

"A merry heart does good, like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones." Proverbs 17:22

God's Beloved

A Loving And Lavished Father (2)

Last Friday, I visited Optic Point (in Jurong East) to have a new pair of spectacles made as the coloured coat of the frame was coming off. For quite a while, I had been assuming that the usual outlet (the one in Jurong Point) that I always patronised had shifted out of the shopping complex. That was what happened to the clinic, Alpha Baby And Child Specialists, of my children's paediatrician, Dr Agnes Tay. The management had increased the rental price and, hence, Dr Tay decided to relocate her clinic to block 135 in Jurong East.

Every year, all the teachers in Daniel's school, Fuhua Secondary School, would be given a $100 Optic Point voucher each on Teachers' Day. I am always the privileged one to take advantage of the discount, though Daniel could have used it for himself as he wears spectacles too.

The optician, a Filipino, checked my current pair of spectacles and then my eyes with an equipment that required me to rest my chin on it. He told me that both my right and left vision had improved! Later, he brought me into a dark room for the 'manual' eye check, where he placed an extremely ugly and nerdy pair of glasses (you bespectacled folks should know what I am referring to) on me. He took a very long time just to determine the final result of my eyes. I observed that he remained extremely patient and polite throughout the check even though the customer (that's me) was getting rather impatient with his super-duper slow service. Nevertheless, I still admired his good and praise-worthy attributes as we really need more of these people in the service industry! Well, I was very, very pleased with the outcome of the check. It turned out that the result of the manual check was better than the one done using the equipment. Both my left (3.00 current, 2.75 equipment, 2.50 manual) and right (3.75 current, 3.50 equipment, 3.25 manual) visions had improved, though the astigmatism of my right eye had doubled! Praise the Lord!!!

When I was back home, I began pondering over this new miracle. I wondered whether the healing took place because of the trickling effects of the prayers for divine healing of yesteryears (read Part 1) or the constant partaking of the Holy Communion and declaring God's Word (Truth) over myself. Well, does it really matter? All I need to know is that my loving Abba Father wants me well and whole.

Before I went to sleep that night, I suddenly recalled that a few months ago, I was experiencing a 'drooping' left eyelid. Let me illustrate. When I opened my eyes, I would notice that my left eyelid looked very funny and different from the right one. Instead of the usual clear and distinct double eyelids that I would see when my eyes were opened, I realised that my left eye was only 4/5 opened, even though I was already attempting to open my eyes wider than normal! My very first thought was, "Is this a sign of aging or am I lacking in sleep??" I was so troubled that I covered my eyes with my hands and prayed. I told Abba Father that my eyes were under His grace and, because I was a daughter of Sarah, my youth was renewed like the eagle's. Sarah was the only woman in the Old Testament with her youth (and beauty) renewed, so much so that two heathen kings wanted her (probably an eighty-something-year-old lady then) for their harems! Read Genesis 12:10-20 and 20:1-18. So, all sisters-in-Christ, be of good cheer as we are all Daughters of Sarah.!

Not only had the wierd looking condition disappeared, my overall vision had also improved over the years. As Christians, we should not accept the world's beliefs that as we age, we will have aches all over our bodies and/or our eyesight deteriorates, etc.. We are under a much better management (GRACE) and have a much higher life than the world's. Go for the zoe (God-kind of, promunced as zo-a) life!

As an earthly mother, I would always think of ways to love and bless my beloved children, Caleb and Naomi. Magnify that love (though mine is imperfect and sometimes conditional) an infinite times over, you will know how much God loves you. And His love is perfect and unconditional! Have you received His love today? "If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him." Matthew 7:11.

God's Beloved